Buy one Get one Free
I lit up the oven, 425 degrees.
That’s what the box said—so I did it.
Next thing I know I smell something burning.
Next thing I know the alarm’s going off.
But it was like someone who makes a big deal out of nothing,
because they were just the drippings someone left on the grill.
But the smoke alarm wouldn’t stop howling,
so I got out of there fast as I could.
I drove and drove, like you do when you’re hungry but picky,
picky but cheap.
Finally I saw a sign—Free Pizza.
I called: turns out it was free if you just buy one first.
It figures—America, that’s how they get you.
It’s free, if you buy something first.
It’s freedom—but first pay this much!
But still I thought, two pizzas for five dollars—
that’s practically free!
So I walk in with a hungry smile on my face.
It turns out a pizza’s five dollars—that’s an offer.
But the buy one get one free is an offer too—
and you can’t get two offers in life. You’ve got to choose one.
So now, I’m paying full price.
And the girl says, I can take it back, but I say:
Just give me the pizza.
So now I’m driving home,
and what am I going to do with all this?
The fridge is practically full.
Free Pizza—that’s how they get you.